The Uchiha Curse
by elquendi
Summary: The twisting and turning of fate brought two rival clans together in the founding of Konoha- but that didn't mean the fighting stopped! Sixty years later, Konohan rivalry is still going strong. Yondaime era. Kind-of-sequel to 'Team Minato'.


**In a review for "Team Minato", Prescripto13 commented that there seemed to be a history between the Hatake and the Uchiha. And yes. Yes there is. But this isn't it. **

**After 9 months writing 40 minute 1000 word short stories on the concept of 'belonging', I'm failing epically every time I try to write something serious… so humour all the way! :D **

_Everyone_ knows that the founding of Konoha was made possible by the alliance of the two great clans- Senju and Uchiha. _Everyone_ knows of the great Uchiha-Senju clan feud. What most Hidden Villages try to forget is that there was a third clan involved in both feud and founding- Hatake. While Senju became mired up in politics, bogged down in bureaucratic red tape, and the Uchiha decided to start up the Military Police (in a rather vain attempt to demonstrate that the Uchiwa really _was_ an amazing fashion statement), the Hatake clan retreated to the shadows (which, admittedly, they had never left) and formed the most deadly of Konoha's military branches, the Special Tactics and Assassination Squad- ANBU.

'Out of sight, out of mind' was the hope of the Hatake clan. After all, even now after sixty _years_ most of Konoha's clans are still smarting over all those blonde brides they stole. The Hatake single-handedly altered the genetic makeup of most of Fire Country with their unending campaign to create a clan of blondes- and it didn't even work, they're still as old and grey as ever! The Uchiha, ancient enemies of the 'thieving dogs', were particularly deep rooted in their hatred at that time and since; their on-going inability to protect their women left them the black haired, black eyed clan they are today. This is the true source of their feud with the Senju, who to this day retain their blonde beauty- Oh how it has burned to watch the sun glint golden on the head of Senju Tsunade and her cousins all these long, long years!

Many think that the death of the great Senju clan would be greeted with dismay by the residents of Konoha. Nothing could be further from the truth! Senju Tsunade, granddaughter of one Hokage, niece of another, is a symbol of everything wrong in the world; why should the Senju be the only ones with a blonde? With each disappearing or dead blonde Senju in the last 30 years, the clans (with the possible exception of the Yamanakas, who were dismayed at the loss of Hatake's preferred victims) gave a silent little jig. Now only Tsunade remains, last holdout of a once strong clan; as strong as she is mainly so the Hatake wouldn't make a last ditch attempt to procure Konoha's final golden blonde for the betterment of their gene pool.

At any rate, the Senju were not popular in Konoha, and neither were the Hatake- although their skills were certainly respected. The Uchiha were rather glad of this fact. They believed in a practical approach to learning- namely, learn or die (or be beaten, tied up and left on the roadside for the next clan member to come along and untie). They were rather satisfied with the fact that they could continue to get free training by aggravating members of a clan which possessed (as anyone could tell you) _formidable_ tempers. And no one has ever said that Hatake were weak. They made _excellent _training partners. Unfortunately, since The Incident with Uchiha Madara, the Uchiha had become rather more vicious in their teasing, and Hatake correspondingly more vicious in their attacks.

Wife stealing was acceptable (albeit annoying and humiliating), but _husband stealing?_ Nuh-uh. Nooooo-way.

The Hatake-Uchiha feud has become more a matter of honour than desire for genetics. Hatake respond to Uchiha insults, Uchiha 'tease' in response to Hatake kidnappings. The Hatake maintain that if the Uchiha stopped their teasing, they would cease their thieving. The Uchiha assert that if 'those mangy mutts' stopped their thieving, they would in turn moderate their teasing. Unfortunately, to this day, a scream from the Uchiha compound means a bride in the Hatake compound- and it's _this_ fact that will allow Uchiha Itachi to complete his dastardly deed with Konoha none the wiser!

A/N: This is a spoof of a longer WIP I have going on about the Hatake clan prior to their joining Konoha. That work is rather longer, definitely more serious, and is really only being written to help me understand my characters for yet another work. :S Hope you enjoy the silliness that arose here from that one, please R&R!

As for retaliation…. Well, wife-stealing is a time honoured tradition across the world. It happened among the Celtic tribes of Europe, and among the peoples of Asia. In fact, one of the ways to say 'to get married' in Chinese has the literal implication of 'to steal a wife'… so. Not such a strange custom after all. :P


End file.
